I don’t talk much but when I do….
I get ignored, interrupted, mocked & looked at as if me saying “Hi” was harassment. This is how a lot of my social interactions play out and its made me jaded towards social norms. I don’t feel like saying shit anyone. With some people, its like they need someone to look at them while they talk and don’t respond to anything you say, only waiting for their turn to talk. Conversations feel one sided. I’ve made a real habit out of being quiet. Often i feel like i have nothing worth saying and will avoid talking unless i have too. Oddly enough, people seem to judge more for that. In a room full of people bouncing ideas and experiences of each other somehow I’ll still be the elephant in the room. People tend to get real uneasy around me once they’ve recognized me as the quiet guy. The patterns are all too familiar. They’ll try to force small talk after trying to avoid you, looking everywhere but at you. Even the average social butterfly who think they can be friends with everyone get nervous around me after awhile, If they talk ever talk to me that is. Its funny, no one’s got shit to say to me until i say or do something wrong, but will damn sure talk about me when they think im far enough. Im never too surprised by what i hear. Most of my time is spent alone now. Its the only time my mind is at ease. I see no point in trying to build friendships with people who are afraid of me when I try to talk to them but treat like im stuck up when If im not talking about nothing every two minutes.